now or never... ever

since i can remember... time is money, said orson welles... in a nashua copier tv spot...

but time is also a luxury... a luxury worthwhile having had... or like the bumper-sticker which reads: ''if you don't surf, don't start...!' (get it, got it.... good!)

meantime, back at the ranch... i've had ample time... enough time to recall the unemployed who wondered where in heavens he had the time to do his thing while he was still employed.... another perspective, i suppose. my sister, who had met her husband when they were still at school (at 16!!!) recently said: 'it's so quiet... we wanted to get old together...' he had died, suddenly, at the tender age of 47! in fact he had all the time in the world.... recently having taken a early retirement package... his choice... time to live the creativity he could never employ at work, a lifetime of serious money-business... he had really put it together... from nothing... and i think and i suppose i hope he had really lived before deperting... far too soon... both their sons are creatives... my brother-in-law will smile at me in future, through his sons... as a creative,

i am thankful to have had the time to say 'goodbye'... in a way... who could have guessed that his time had come... almost impossible to believe, having seen the shots taken weeks before his death... standing proudly between his 20-something sons in a pool... goodbye my friend... i owe you a painting (i know!)
will give it to sister and the boys... ps. i think i smoked your last cigarette... i found the packet next to where you passed away... on a stack of bricks on the patio... i smoked them all one aftzer the other in the empty house... in the dark... looking at your chair...

love from all of us... on the other side.

ps. i made bobotie and baked an olive and rosamary bread after your funeral... your wife was everything but hungry... but eventually she too, ate... something.... my mother reckons i made too much.... whatever... see you there... in a while....