Samstag, 30. Oktober 2010
kitchensafari: ossowhat!?
kitchensafari: ossowhat!?: "the diminuative chef at a prominent berlin restaurant belonging to an even more prominent restauranteur... (a coke-head with an affected at..."
berlin confidentional... or ossowhat!?
the diminuative chef at a prominent berlin restaurant belonging to an even more prominent yet socially inept restauranteur... (a coke-head with an affected attitude including a sort of twitch (curable in africa i am sure!)...) attempted to stage a traincrash... involving me... a false accusation... (booze.... theft... whatever it takes to get fired!) i was frontshop... and a sort of armanish (wishful thinking!) reception girl... you know, almost like a maître d'... but probably not connected to the redlite district enough to qualify... a poor attempt, anyway... the cook had a german name... Detlef? or something...but apparently an italian surname... not Batelli!? i suppose i would have believed him if he hadn't repeated his italianess on a daily basis... or if he had been bigger than me!? he was afraid of the stairwell down to the mosaic tiled toilets... especially after the 'accident'... a drugdealer had slipped and almost broke his neck in my immediate company... yes those stairs were slippery...and Detlef knew it! how i love the decadence of the gastronomy!
anyway... his cooking was ok... he got the job cause the kitchen was so small, actually unbelievable that something like 6 or 8 juvenile delinquents fitted physically into that narrow, wet, hot hole... oh i forgot to mention the 2 giant and obviously... black dishwashers... male! not to mention the inflated egos...
but what i actually wanted to say... was...? my grandmother said... if you forget what you wanted to say... you're actually about to lie!?
ossobuco... wasn't excatly Detlef's signature dish... but he, like most choleric cooks...did not take critisism very well... but hey... a big fat paycheck for a while is a comfort for a while... oder?
how to make a great ossobuco!?
one thing i can tell you... the controlling department budget...didn't excactly allow for quality purchases... and no cook alive, with good intentions... or ambition... can cook with shit quality... and no cook with respect for his products and guests would stay in an establishment thta did not promote natural quality produce... preferably organic, and from the area... and in season...
the shorter the way from garden to the table... the better... it's a golden rule.. to some... even to some with a fast-food background! (like moi!)
a great ossobuco takes time.
and if you don't have time, don't even start cooking!
i've seen a few kitchens from here to berlin... to cape town... to jerusalem... and back... must add that i have also spent time in the army... in other words... but some of the conditions made me want to call the health department... on the spot... but instead, i walked.
time, time, time... not the recipe... the ingredients yes... love and time...
and by the way, time is a luxury... and most cooks don't have luxury... do they!?
that's why mamma's cooking is still best... isn't it?
cheers from the deep forest... close to the black forest... in the palitinate forest... and bon appetit!
anyway... his cooking was ok... he got the job cause the kitchen was so small, actually unbelievable that something like 6 or 8 juvenile delinquents fitted physically into that narrow, wet, hot hole... oh i forgot to mention the 2 giant and obviously... black dishwashers... male! not to mention the inflated egos...
but what i actually wanted to say... was...? my grandmother said... if you forget what you wanted to say... you're actually about to lie!?
ossobuco... wasn't excatly Detlef's signature dish... but he, like most choleric cooks...did not take critisism very well... but hey... a big fat paycheck for a while is a comfort for a while... oder?
how to make a great ossobuco!?
one thing i can tell you... the controlling department budget...didn't excactly allow for quality purchases... and no cook alive, with good intentions... or ambition... can cook with shit quality... and no cook with respect for his products and guests would stay in an establishment thta did not promote natural quality produce... preferably organic, and from the area... and in season...
the shorter the way from garden to the table... the better... it's a golden rule.. to some... even to some with a fast-food background! (like moi!)
a great ossobuco takes time.
and if you don't have time, don't even start cooking!
i've seen a few kitchens from here to berlin... to cape town... to jerusalem... and back... must add that i have also spent time in the army... in other words... but some of the conditions made me want to call the health department... on the spot... but instead, i walked.
time, time, time... not the recipe... the ingredients yes... love and time...
and by the way, time is a luxury... and most cooks don't have luxury... do they!?
that's why mamma's cooking is still best... isn't it?
cheers from the deep forest... close to the black forest... in the palitinate forest... and bon appetit!
Freitag, 29. Oktober 2010
kitchensafari: kitchensafari... a test of wits
kitchensafari: kitchensafari... a test of wits: "ps. before i start: forgive my spelling... i have no excuses... pps. this is a recipe for south african 'vetkoek'... almost, but not quite a..."
kitchensafari: now or never... ever
kitchensafari: now or never... ever: "since i can remember... time is money, said orson welles... in a nashua copier tv spot... but time is also a luxury... a luxury worthwhile ..."
kitchensafari: eat this...
kitchensafari: eat this...: "yes it is gross... what some people eat... not only in asia! but marmite is not only worth spreading thick... it has a reputation of being ..."
eat this...
yes it is gross... what some people eat... not only in asia!
but marmite is not only worth spreading thick... it has a reputation of being healthy!
i suppose almost black liquad yeast cannot be promoted to absolue beginners... without using every marketing/sales gimmick in the book...
needless to say, i haven't had much success in pursuading new-comers to this culinary delight... 'motor oil', someone called my beloved black spread... motor oil! i suppose i chuckled at this remark, purely for the sake of the moment... the harmony... 'forgive them father, for they know not what they do...'
but could i walk away from a direct, no matter how unintentional insult on my and millions of other south africans staple diet... not excactly, not now... but i had to.
the alternative would have been...
1. immediate and sudden retaliation... an 'amoklauf'...or...
2. abruptly departing from the scene of the wannabe crime...but,
3. reminding myself that i was slightly annebriated, 50 miles from home...and,
4. had a warm bed reserved in the guest room...
and then the shrill melody of a 70's musical underscored the blöde tatsache... 'why don't you stay... stay just a little longer...'
marmite: now available in a pvc squirt tube... and not quite as black and 'fest' as i recall the 'black oil'...
i used to bring the stuff with me after visiting home... before 9/11!!!
i think it's about time to sidetrack... what they call 'gedankenflucht' here where i am right now.
'where were you on november 11?'... i was trying to shoot a birdy on the 8th par 4 somewhere in germany (a relatively safe place to be at that time...)... or am i 'exaggerating'... was i attempting to save a double bogey... who knows, who cares... what i am trying to get to, is that it became a mission to bring the stuff here... and then i found it hidden in the backrow of a topshelf of an indian store just around the block/corner from where i lived!!!
after all the effort... and ludicrously even harvesting thoughts of importing it... i have suffered since, not returning to the store... ever again... it had become too easy to get what you wanted... even here, 12 000 km away from home... i could sidetrack into 9/11... or globalisation... i suppose.
from now on i will enjoy my 'black oil' at home in south africa... or when available by accident... 'zufällig'... as the locals would say. and besides, 'blutwurst' is not a worthy substitute, why should it be!?
i am here now... and i eat what i get here and now.
yes, this an advertorial... so support your local tribe and eat from wher you are... right now... an exception would be 'gestattet' to those in the dark and mysterious depths of transeylvania... oder not!?
lights out, goodbite... and remember... there is no safety in nembers!
but i suppose there are exception to this statement too.
but marmite is not only worth spreading thick... it has a reputation of being healthy!
i suppose almost black liquad yeast cannot be promoted to absolue beginners... without using every marketing/sales gimmick in the book...
needless to say, i haven't had much success in pursuading new-comers to this culinary delight... 'motor oil', someone called my beloved black spread... motor oil! i suppose i chuckled at this remark, purely for the sake of the moment... the harmony... 'forgive them father, for they know not what they do...'
but could i walk away from a direct, no matter how unintentional insult on my and millions of other south africans staple diet... not excactly, not now... but i had to.
the alternative would have been...
1. immediate and sudden retaliation... an 'amoklauf'...or...
2. abruptly departing from the scene of the wannabe crime...but,
3. reminding myself that i was slightly annebriated, 50 miles from home...and,
4. had a warm bed reserved in the guest room...
and then the shrill melody of a 70's musical underscored the blöde tatsache... 'why don't you stay... stay just a little longer...'
marmite: now available in a pvc squirt tube... and not quite as black and 'fest' as i recall the 'black oil'...
i used to bring the stuff with me after visiting home... before 9/11!!!
i think it's about time to sidetrack... what they call 'gedankenflucht' here where i am right now.
'where were you on november 11?'... i was trying to shoot a birdy on the 8th par 4 somewhere in germany (a relatively safe place to be at that time...)... or am i 'exaggerating'... was i attempting to save a double bogey... who knows, who cares... what i am trying to get to, is that it became a mission to bring the stuff here... and then i found it hidden in the backrow of a topshelf of an indian store just around the block/corner from where i lived!!!
after all the effort... and ludicrously even harvesting thoughts of importing it... i have suffered since, not returning to the store... ever again... it had become too easy to get what you wanted... even here, 12 000 km away from home... i could sidetrack into 9/11... or globalisation... i suppose.
from now on i will enjoy my 'black oil' at home in south africa... or when available by accident... 'zufällig'... as the locals would say. and besides, 'blutwurst' is not a worthy substitute, why should it be!?
i am here now... and i eat what i get here and now.
yes, this an advertorial... so support your local tribe and eat from wher you are... right now... an exception would be 'gestattet' to those in the dark and mysterious depths of transeylvania... oder not!?
lights out, goodbite... and remember... there is no safety in nembers!
but i suppose there are exception to this statement too.
now or never... ever
since i can remember... time is money, said orson welles... in a nashua copier tv spot...
but time is also a luxury... a luxury worthwhile having had... or like the bumper-sticker which reads: ''if you don't surf, don't start...!' (get it, got it.... good!)
meantime, back at the ranch... i've had ample time... enough time to recall the unemployed who wondered where in heavens he had the time to do his thing while he was still employed.... another perspective, i suppose. my sister, who had met her husband when they were still at school (at 16!!!) recently said: 'it's so quiet... we wanted to get old together...' he had died, suddenly, at the tender age of 47! in fact he had all the time in the world.... recently having taken a early retirement package... his choice... time to live the creativity he could never employ at work, a lifetime of serious money-business... he had really put it together... from nothing... and i think and i suppose i hope he had really lived before deperting... far too soon... both their sons are creatives... my brother-in-law will smile at me in future, through his sons... as a creative,
i am thankful to have had the time to say 'goodbye'... in a way... who could have guessed that his time had come... almost impossible to believe, having seen the shots taken weeks before his death... standing proudly between his 20-something sons in a pool... goodbye my friend... i owe you a painting (i know!)
will give it to sister and the boys... ps. i think i smoked your last cigarette... i found the packet next to where you passed away... on a stack of bricks on the patio... i smoked them all one aftzer the other in the empty house... in the dark... looking at your chair...
love from all of us... on the other side.
ps. i made bobotie and baked an olive and rosamary bread after your funeral... your wife was everything but hungry... but eventually she too, ate... something.... my mother reckons i made too much.... whatever... see you there... in a while....
but time is also a luxury... a luxury worthwhile having had... or like the bumper-sticker which reads: ''if you don't surf, don't start...!' (get it, got it.... good!)
meantime, back at the ranch... i've had ample time... enough time to recall the unemployed who wondered where in heavens he had the time to do his thing while he was still employed.... another perspective, i suppose. my sister, who had met her husband when they were still at school (at 16!!!) recently said: 'it's so quiet... we wanted to get old together...' he had died, suddenly, at the tender age of 47! in fact he had all the time in the world.... recently having taken a early retirement package... his choice... time to live the creativity he could never employ at work, a lifetime of serious money-business... he had really put it together... from nothing... and i think and i suppose i hope he had really lived before deperting... far too soon... both their sons are creatives... my brother-in-law will smile at me in future, through his sons... as a creative,
i am thankful to have had the time to say 'goodbye'... in a way... who could have guessed that his time had come... almost impossible to believe, having seen the shots taken weeks before his death... standing proudly between his 20-something sons in a pool... goodbye my friend... i owe you a painting (i know!)
will give it to sister and the boys... ps. i think i smoked your last cigarette... i found the packet next to where you passed away... on a stack of bricks on the patio... i smoked them all one aftzer the other in the empty house... in the dark... looking at your chair...
love from all of us... on the other side.
ps. i made bobotie and baked an olive and rosamary bread after your funeral... your wife was everything but hungry... but eventually she too, ate... something.... my mother reckons i made too much.... whatever... see you there... in a while....
Donnerstag, 28. Oktober 2010
kitchensafari... a test of wits
ps. before i start: forgive my spelling... i have no excuses...
pps. this is a recipe for south african 'vetkoek'... almost, but not quite a sort of flapjack...
my grandmotther, bless her soul, told me to rather shut up than say something 'bad'...(especially about others... and definately not on a sunday!) i will keep this in mind during my future blog ventures... on the other hand, who cares anyway... anymore? i do sometimes, but not always... anyway... only a tea could save me!
a friend in berlin told me to stay authentic, to undermine and/or my criminal energy in order to guide my karma to a safe haven... she also put me in touch with numerology... again,... (remember israel?). according to my numero profile, based on adding and subtraction the date of birth numerals, i should be investing my time helping others... and in doing so i would find true happiness (and wealth!?). a pretty clear picture of a little less self-indulgance... more team thinking... some greenpeace... and a porsche cayenne... but not from caritas, ok. the thought had occurred to me before... years ago in africa... submerging from time to time... but... i procrastinate for a living.
but i also, some say, have talent... wow! others say, a jack of all trades... master of none... whatever...
yes, this is my very first time... and it hurts... not me though... artists have thick skins...
what i actualy wnnted to talk about was not integration in germany... but food, south african food.
CAPE -STYLE VETKOEK:
ingredients
1 cup of allpurpose flour... any type...
1 cup of milk... please use fresh high fat milk
1 egg... ZE EGGS MUST BE OOOOORGANIC!!!
a pinch of salt
a satchet/packet of Baking powder
making
mix all ingredients well... and let it rest for a while... but for no longer than 15minutes...
heat a cast iron based pan on ze oven... topspeed... until just before it starts smoking... (you will know when!!!)
immediately reduce the heat to half of that before.... and add an inch or more of sunflower oil to the pan...
test the heat of the oil by dropping small drops of the mixture... it must fry immediately!
otherwise your vetkoekke will be toooo soggy...
now add mix with a soupspoon...
fry untill bottom is lightbrown...
turn around...
remove from pan... and rest on kitchen paper...do not overfry!
place vetkoeke in an ovenproof bowl/plate... and bake at +-150° celcius for 10 minutes...
just to make sure that it isn't rough in the centre... (Mrs. Venter!?)
serve: serve hot with farmbutter... even salted butter (in berlin from Brot & Butter in Charlottenburg)...
and do not forget golden syrup... if you're not in SA. and in germany check out Karstadt in Berlin... they have it!!!
then to be ultra decadent... sprinkle cheddar cheese, grated... and enjoy!
from here to you, see you another time with less content and more structure... or maybe not.
pps. this is a recipe for south african 'vetkoek'... almost, but not quite a sort of flapjack...
my grandmotther, bless her soul, told me to rather shut up than say something 'bad'...(especially about others... and definately not on a sunday!) i will keep this in mind during my future blog ventures... on the other hand, who cares anyway... anymore? i do sometimes, but not always... anyway... only a tea could save me!
a friend in berlin told me to stay authentic, to undermine and/or my criminal energy in order to guide my karma to a safe haven... she also put me in touch with numerology... again,... (remember israel?). according to my numero profile, based on adding and subtraction the date of birth numerals, i should be investing my time helping others... and in doing so i would find true happiness (and wealth!?). a pretty clear picture of a little less self-indulgance... more team thinking... some greenpeace... and a porsche cayenne... but not from caritas, ok. the thought had occurred to me before... years ago in africa... submerging from time to time... but... i procrastinate for a living.
but i also, some say, have talent... wow! others say, a jack of all trades... master of none... whatever...
yes, this is my very first time... and it hurts... not me though... artists have thick skins...
what i actualy wnnted to talk about was not integration in germany... but food, south african food.
CAPE -STYLE VETKOEK:
ingredients
1 cup of allpurpose flour... any type...
1 cup of milk... please use fresh high fat milk
1 egg... ZE EGGS MUST BE OOOOORGANIC!!!
a pinch of salt
a satchet/packet of Baking powder
making
mix all ingredients well... and let it rest for a while... but for no longer than 15minutes...
heat a cast iron based pan on ze oven... topspeed... until just before it starts smoking... (you will know when!!!)
immediately reduce the heat to half of that before.... and add an inch or more of sunflower oil to the pan...
test the heat of the oil by dropping small drops of the mixture... it must fry immediately!
otherwise your vetkoekke will be toooo soggy...
now add mix with a soupspoon...
fry untill bottom is lightbrown...
turn around...
remove from pan... and rest on kitchen paper...do not overfry!
place vetkoeke in an ovenproof bowl/plate... and bake at +-150° celcius for 10 minutes...
just to make sure that it isn't rough in the centre... (Mrs. Venter!?)
serve: serve hot with farmbutter... even salted butter (in berlin from Brot & Butter in Charlottenburg)...
and do not forget golden syrup... if you're not in SA. and in germany check out Karstadt in Berlin... they have it!!!
then to be ultra decadent... sprinkle cheddar cheese, grated... and enjoy!
from here to you, see you another time with less content and more structure... or maybe not.
Abonnieren
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